Feb. 19th, 2009

divinemadam: (Default)
My father is doing better.  He is up and mobile around the house and even the physical therapist said that she noticed a marked difference in his  range of motion.  He still has some pain in the evening and some swelling, but that is to be expected.  He is also having regular bowel movements and his appetite has almost doubled what it was last week.  He still has the catheter, and he is passing fluid.  The swelling has started to go down in his groin area and he is not passing any blood according to my step mother.  That is really good news because that means that there is hope that he can have the catheter removed on Monday and keep it out.  Cross your fingers on that.

Now for my rant...  For some time now, my sisters, Tammy and Angie have claimed that I am my father's favorite, that he loves me more, that they are ignored, and so on and so on...  They also just don't see why he "favors" me when I lived with my mother instead of him after my parents got divorced.  There were several years where I did not have my father in my life because my mother did not want anyone to know where we were.  (Don't ask me why.  She is just contrary like that.)  Therefore, I feel that I am constantly justifying the fact that my father loves me.  After all, he shouldn't love me as much as he loves them because I "chose" my mother over my father.  I was 10 years old when they got divorced.  I had nothing to say in the matter, and by the time that I was old enough to have a say, I felt that I needed to take care of my mother and brother.  I don't regret staying with her, but I do wish that I would have had that time with my father back.  I can't have that, so I make sure that I talk to him often now and cherish the time that I have with him.  I know what it is like to be without him.  This is what worried me about his slow recovery after his surgery.  Since he had the surgery, I have called him and/or my step mother almost every day.  I want to make sure that I don't miss an opportunity to tell him that I love him.  My sister Tammy called my step mother three or four times to get updates and she actually talked to my father when he got home from the hospital.  She hasn't called since.  Angie has called him once, after I told her that he had gone home.  I have kept her updated on everything, and I kept telling her that she needed to call him.  Once.  That's it.  This is the same sister who claims that my father ignores her.  Every time that I have talked with Daddy, he has asked about her.  I made sure to initiate the updates with her once I spoke with him.  She never asked about him.  Who is ignoring whom?  I realized a long time ago that if I wanted to have my father be a part of my life, I had to be willing to make some concessions.  He does not like to talk on the phone, and he rarely calls anyone for non-business related purposes.  That means that I have to call him.  Not a problem.  He does not like to travel because sitting in a car for long periods of time hurts his legs.  That means that I need to visit him.  Fine, road trip.  He is married to someone with whom I would not choose to have a friendship if we were total strangers.  That means that I have learned to deal with and respect my step mother.  We have become closer over the last few years, and while she is still way to judgmental for my tastes, we get along just fine not talking politics or religion or morality.  I work hard at the relationship that I have with my father, but I think that it is worth it.  There aren't many relationships that don't take some compromise and work.  However, my sisters don't see that their inability to put forth that effort has anything to do with the fact that my father has a closer relationship with me.  Let's not mention that I am the only one that has his personality.  Did I mention that I am also the only one that hasn't borrowed thousands and thousands of dollars from him to bail me out of whatever financial disaster?  Oh, and I am the one who just hangs out with him, watching tv, napping in the recliners, reading quietly... whenever I visit.  Tammy and Angie think that daddy should call them, visit them, and give them his undivided attention.  When they do go and visit him, they do not spend much time with him because they get bored and want to go and do something.  I don't mind doing things, and I have friends who live there that I will see from time to time.  However, I also enjoy just sitting and being with him.  Tammy gets along fine with our step mother, but Angie resents her and makes sure that everyone knows her dislike.  I am just sick and tired of the crap that I get for having a good relationship with my father.


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February 2012

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