divinemadam: (Default)
[personal profile] divinemadam
Okay f-listies...  I have had a question posed to me and I need some help to think things through.  My brother has been dealing with a bad roommate situation.  His current roomie is one of his oldest friends who has just made some bad choices and has slowly become a freeloader.  He is in the process of kicking out the roomie, which is taking a little longer than expected because the roomie is actually on the lease.  It would be one thing if he could just say get out because you are not on the lease but that isn't the situation.  However, every month, the roomie is getting further and further in debt to my brother, so it is a matter of time before he is out.  This brings me to my quandary. 

My brother asked me when my lease was up and would I move in with him.  First of all, my lease would have been renewed in May, but I was never given a new lease to sign.  I haven't signed a new lease since I moved here 3 years ago, but there is a line that says that there is an automatic renewal without notice.  So I would have to check to see if this was even an option in the first place.  However, if it would be an option, here are the pros and cons:

Pros:
- I would be more motivated to do things because we motivate each other to work.  He is exercising and would help me exercise.  I will do paperwork and make him do his paperwork.  He's OCD about cleaning, so I would actually clean much better than I do now.  (I'm not dirty, just cluttered)  Having him around, I would actually cook meals, which means that I would eat better instead of settling for fast food or having frozen dinners.
 - It would be cheaper, splitting costs.
- I would have company and no more annoying neighbors.
- I love his house, which is only 5 minutes from where I live now, so not a huge difference in neighborhoods
- I would have a lovely, huge back yard
- We get along great and spend a ton of time together anyway.
- mom has been thinking that this would be wonderful for us to do

Cons:
- I would mother him and he would let me.  It would exhaust me and eventually piss him off.
- I have a household of stuff that I would have to get rid of or figure out what to do with.  The house is pretty much already decorated and better decorated than my place, to be honest.  I could get rid of a lot of things, but there are some things that I can't compromise on like my grandmother's china cabinet.
- He likes to keep the temperature about 10 degrees colder than I do
- the heating there seriously is not great, and I have joint issues.  Joint issues + cold in the winter = bad
- There is only one bathroom
- He likes to play music loud all of the time
- His friends will come over and drink until late at night, which is fine for them, but I have to get some rest.
- He has pets, whom I love, but when my allergies are acting up, the pet dander will irritate them more.
- I'm afraid that while we love each other now, we will hate each other if we live together.

Any opinions?

Date: 2009-06-01 09:36 am (UTC)
alassenya: Mallorn leaf with Alassenya in Tengwar (Default)
From: [personal profile] alassenya
I can't tell you to share or not share, that's not my place, but if you do, I think you would need some fairly firm ground rules, including things like using headphones for music when both of you are in the house, setting visiting hours, agreeing to a minimum winter temperature, getting a HEPA-filter vacuum cleaner, and trying to split the sales so that you each sell half of the duplicates (which will make it a little easier if/when you part company again - you don't want to have to start from scratch).

If heating is the real issue, maybe you can arrange it so that you pay the heating bills and he pays some other bill/s of roughly equivalent value - that would give you a little more control.

Good luck whichever you choose, anyway.

Date: 2009-06-05 10:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] divinemadam.livejournal.com
We have been discussing this more and more and I think that we are going to try it. We came to agreements about the music and quiet time, visitors, furniture... The heating is still an issue because the heating system (powered by natural gas) in the house is an older system, so it is not very efficient. We agreed to get some of the good space heaters for each of the rooms that can be turned on when we are in there. The gas bills last winter were outrageous and it was never warm there. Space heaters work better. Thanks for your suggestions!

We will see how it goes...

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