divinemadam: (Default)
Okay, here's the latest update on my family that has been stressing me out in the last few months.

Brother:  If you saw my post from last night, you know that he has been having all kinds of roommate issues.  The sad thing is that his roomie is one of his oldest and closest friends.  Now they never even speak.  Derek went through a major depression when all of this started.  He had started going down the same self-destructive path that Greg is on now, but at least he realized that he needed to stop it.  When he realized that, he called on the person that he usually does to hep fix things, which is me.  He started spending the evenings at my house to get his paperwork from his job done and to come up with a plan of how to change things.  He got to a point that was so low, I was really worried that he was suicidal again.  Obviously, he has been working his way out of that.  However, he is not there yet.  He won't be "fixed" until the situation with his roommate is squared away.

Sister, Angie:  If you have read my LJ before you that I love my sister but she drives me bonkers.  You also know that I truly dislike her husband.  Lately they have been having problems, which would seem like a good thing since I don't like the asshat.  However, when they didn't get along in the past, it eventually ended up abusive.  It hasn't thus far, but I think that it's just a matter of time.  The worry is being multiplied by the fact that my sister has reconnected with her first love through facebook, and he lives part of the year around here.  (He travels a lot with his work.)  She has been sneaking around to see him behind her husband's back.  I don't know that they have done anything more than making out like teenagers but this does not bode well if her husband finds out.  I would like to think that she is trying to figure out a way to leave her husband, but I don't think that she is.  She has become accustomed to having things and spending money.  If she leaves her husband, she will have to leave that behind.  She could have love and happiness if her happiness had not become dependent on what money could buy.  The new guy loves her and treats her like she deserves to be treated.  However, there is a part of me that wants to go over and tell him that he should cut ties because she won't leave her husband.  I know that she is scared of the asshat, but she is still talking about taking a trip to the Bahamas and another trip Europe.  Those are not things that she could do if she plans on leaving her husband.  The sad thing is that she and her husband are beginning to fight because they are starting to have money issues.  They own several businesses, but all of the businesses sell large cost items (cars, house improvements...), which people are not buying in this economy.  On top of that, any money that they had set aside, the asshat has gambled away because he fancies himself a big card player.  He may be better than the average person around here, but he is not all that when going up against professional players.  So, my sister is playing with fire, pulling an innocent person into a bad situation, knowing that she won't ever leave her asshat husband.
divinemadam: (Default)
Okay f-listies...  I have had a question posed to me and I need some help to think things through.  My brother has been dealing with a bad roommate situation.  His current roomie is one of his oldest friends who has just made some bad choices and has slowly become a freeloader.  He is in the process of kicking out the roomie, which is taking a little longer than expected because the roomie is actually on the lease.  It would be one thing if he could just say get out because you are not on the lease but that isn't the situation.  However, every month, the roomie is getting further and further in debt to my brother, so it is a matter of time before he is out.  This brings me to my quandary. 

My brother asked me when my lease was up and would I move in with him.  First of all, my lease would have been renewed in May, but I was never given a new lease to sign.  I haven't signed a new lease since I moved here 3 years ago, but there is a line that says that there is an automatic renewal without notice.  So I would have to check to see if this was even an option in the first place.  However, if it would be an option, here are the pros and cons:

Pros:
- I would be more motivated to do things because we motivate each other to work.  He is exercising and would help me exercise.  I will do paperwork and make him do his paperwork.  He's OCD about cleaning, so I would actually clean much better than I do now.  (I'm not dirty, just cluttered)  Having him around, I would actually cook meals, which means that I would eat better instead of settling for fast food or having frozen dinners.
 - It would be cheaper, splitting costs.
- I would have company and no more annoying neighbors.
- I love his house, which is only 5 minutes from where I live now, so not a huge difference in neighborhoods
- I would have a lovely, huge back yard
- We get along great and spend a ton of time together anyway.
- mom has been thinking that this would be wonderful for us to do

Cons:
- I would mother him and he would let me.  It would exhaust me and eventually piss him off.
- I have a household of stuff that I would have to get rid of or figure out what to do with.  The house is pretty much already decorated and better decorated than my place, to be honest.  I could get rid of a lot of things, but there are some things that I can't compromise on like my grandmother's china cabinet.
- He likes to keep the temperature about 10 degrees colder than I do
- the heating there seriously is not great, and I have joint issues.  Joint issues + cold in the winter = bad
- There is only one bathroom
- He likes to play music loud all of the time
- His friends will come over and drink until late at night, which is fine for them, but I have to get some rest.
- He has pets, whom I love, but when my allergies are acting up, the pet dander will irritate them more.
- I'm afraid that while we love each other now, we will hate each other if we live together.

Any opinions?
divinemadam: (Default)
Ok, my sister told me that she had created a Facebook page and I should friend her.  Since we had a lot of the same friends from West Virginia or knew siblings of friends, I thought that this would be a great idea.  I find her page, and friend it.  Then I begin to read her information.  First of all. she says that she is married but interested in friendship and relationships.  Now, I know that she and her husband will go to "lifestyle" parties and spouse swap.  It grosses me out to no end.  I can't believe that she would do that but if that is what makes her and her husband happy, so be it.  However, posting it on Facebook for anyone to see, INCLUDING HER SON, is just tacky.  She also has down that she is in the Tidewater Bi Females group.    That she is bisexual doesn't bother me.  Seeing it posted on-line where her son can read it, when she and her husband gives him shit about possibly being gay when he isn't, that is where I have a problem.  Well that and the whole idea of my sister + anything sexual = eww because she's my sister and I don't want to know about it.  I have no doubt that my nephew is aware of what goes on in my sisters house and in her life.  He is extremely bright, but I am sure that he feels like me and doesn't want to read about it on-line.  Does my sister not think about things like that?  And she wonders why my nephew has such a close relationship with me.  Maybe it's because he doesn't feel comfortable talking to her about the things that she does like this that embarrasses him but he needs to vent to someone sane.  When he gets older, it would be fine, but he is a teenager, the most awkward time for most people.  He is still trying to define himself as a person.  He doesn't need to deal with his mother's personal information being posted on-line for him and all of his friends to read.  Am I wrong to think this way?  Have I just worked with kids too long that I have lost touch with adults? Or am I right in that my sister is being oblivious to her son's needs?  I just think that it's wrong.  Besides, I just really didn't need any image of my sister having any kind of sex with anyone, male or female.  That's just gross. 

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divinemadam

February 2012

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