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Aug. 30th, 2009 09:19 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
divinemadamFirst of all, why am I up this early on a Sunday morning when I don't have to be? Oh yeah, I fell asleep on one couch, my brother fell asleep on the other, and the cats decided that my face, not my brother's, was the perfect spot to play chase. Why my brother was given a reprieve from all of the fun, I do not know. Do you have any idea what it is like to be sleeping away peacefully only to wake up to your face being mashed and twisted by cat paws, quickly followed by kitten paws? Yes the kitten is chasing the cat, not the other way around. Mowmowski thinks he is quite the large and ferocious cat despite being tiny, all skin and bones, and only having one eye. (It had a cyst on the other and the only way to save its life was to remove the eye. Hasn't phased him a bit.) The cat is my brother's and the kitten belongs to his girlfriend. We love Mowmowski, not so much the girlfriend.
Here's the issue with the girlfriend. My brother has known her for a long time as a friend. He knew her from his last job. She had dated one of his friends and had seemed like a needy and emotional basket case then. When she and Derek's friend were breaking up she played the "I think I'm pregnant" game to keep him. It wasn't true and the friend got as far as he could away from her. Time passes and she starts to reappear and hang out on a friendly basis. She obviously likes my brother but he says that he doesn't want to get into all of the emotional baggage with her and so he's not going to date her. More time passes and she gives him all of these sob stories about her past and he comforts her, feels sorry for her , and gets suckered in by her. He starts dating her. Things actually seem to be going okay and then out of the blue, she goes completely wingnut on him, flipping out saying that she needs him to focus on her more and spend more time with her (she has been with him practically night and day aside from when he is at work or with family). He tried to end it then, but she got all emotional and he gave in to her pleas of one more chance. Then I moved in with him, and we have been doing projects around the house to make adjustments for that move, like building shelves in the laundry room for storage, cleaning out the garage, etc... We have also been doing the mundane things like lawn work and cleaning the house. Apparently, that took too much time away from him focusing on her because she had another meltdown. I had a feeling that this was coming because she was tense around me. There was nothing that I could put my finger on, but let's face facts, you can tell when you are not liked or when you are seen as a threat. Anyway, they had another blow out. He told her that it's over and she told him that she was pregnant. After what she did with his friend, he didn't know whether to believe her or not. Let me also tell you that she has specifically told him that because of her female health issue that is was IMPOSSIBLE, not improbable or highly unlikely, but impossible, for her to get pregnant. My brother, being the stupid trusting fool that he is, had unprotected sex with her, so he knew that there was a chance that she could be pregnant. He made up with her only because he wants to make sure that she gets an abortion. (I do not know what your personal views are about this issue, and with everything going on, I am so emotionally exhausted, I don't have the energy to debate or discuss so don't flame, please.) I will tell you his reasons. First of all, this is someone that he has been debating on staying in a relationship with in the first place, not someone that he would choose to have a committed relationship with, much less bring a child into the world with. Neither of them can financially support a child right now, and if they had a child, they would not be able to go to college to get the education to get a better job to afford a child. Where he works, he spends a lot of time doing maintenance and repairs for a tenement building and he wants more than something like that for a child. Most of all, he has seen first hand that she is not stable, and he does not trust her to raise a child without screwing them up royally. He already knows that any child that he has will genetically have a chance of being depressed, ADHD, OCD, or schizophrenic (his grandmother on his father's side) just from his genetics. He can already feel himself going into another major depressive episode because of how helpless he feels in this situation. He knows that until he gets his crap together, he can't be a father to someone. That is why he doesn't want to have a child now. Let me say that he is okay with adoption, but the girlfriend is not. The girlfriend says that she will have an abortion, but she is having a hard time because she never thought that she could get pregnant and it's getting harder and harder to do it. (Ummm... then do it before it gets even harder.) I don't want to sound callous. However, in the last 3 weeks, I have gotten to know her very well because she has come to live with us. Supposedly, her mother threw her out when she found out that she was pregnant. What I have seen is that she is very clingy to my brother and doesn't want me to have any time alone with him. She wants him all to herself. From everything that she says and does, I feel quite confident that she wants to have the baby because she thinks that it will keep Derek in her life. Since he has started going into this depression and started to withdraw from everyone, except from me and mom, she is freaking out. She has finally spoken to me about having the abortion and told me when she is planning on having it. (She has never spoken to me about the pregnancy except once when they were fighting and she told me that she was pregnant just to piss him off. I already knew, but she didn't know that I knew.) She told me yesterday that she would do whatever it takes to keep in him in this relationship. Ding, Ding, Ding!!! We have a winner! We have one of those desperate women who have to have a man in their lives at any costs. Granted that I am biased but I do think that my brother is good to girlfriends. My mother and I raised him to treat women well. He tried to get out of this relationship early when he saw that it wasn't going to be what he though but because he has a soft heart, he stuck with it. He just keeps kicking himself for not following his gut on this. He has learned two things from this relationship. 1 - always follow your gut. 2 - always use protection, even if she says it's impossible for her to get pregnant.
Well, that is what is exhausting me at home, and work is exhausting as well. I have no place to have any rest. I am coming home from work and falling asleep at 8:00 in the evening. This is coming from a person who has always, even as a small child, been a night owl. It's not uncommon for me to be up until 1:00 am, or it wasn't until the last few weeks. We mailed home the tentative schedules to the students and now everyone wants to make changes. It's utterly ridiculous. I am supposed to be able to leave the office at 3:20 and I am not leaving until 6:00. School starts on September the 8th. There is so much to do before then. I feel exhausted thinking about it. The stress has been causing my neck to hurt again, so I have been doing my stretches that I learned in physical therapy, which has helped. However, I have had HORRIBLE acid reflux and heart burn no matter what I eat and it's all because of stress. I've tried everything, but nothing seems to help, no medicine works for very long. I have a doctor's appointment in the morning about it. I guess that I will have to go on one of the preventative medicines because the reactive ones aren't helping. Keep your fingers crossed!
I think that's about it for an update. Hope everyone is doing well!
Here's the issue with the girlfriend. My brother has known her for a long time as a friend. He knew her from his last job. She had dated one of his friends and had seemed like a needy and emotional basket case then. When she and Derek's friend were breaking up she played the "I think I'm pregnant" game to keep him. It wasn't true and the friend got as far as he could away from her. Time passes and she starts to reappear and hang out on a friendly basis. She obviously likes my brother but he says that he doesn't want to get into all of the emotional baggage with her and so he's not going to date her. More time passes and she gives him all of these sob stories about her past and he comforts her, feels sorry for her , and gets suckered in by her. He starts dating her. Things actually seem to be going okay and then out of the blue, she goes completely wingnut on him, flipping out saying that she needs him to focus on her more and spend more time with her (she has been with him practically night and day aside from when he is at work or with family). He tried to end it then, but she got all emotional and he gave in to her pleas of one more chance. Then I moved in with him, and we have been doing projects around the house to make adjustments for that move, like building shelves in the laundry room for storage, cleaning out the garage, etc... We have also been doing the mundane things like lawn work and cleaning the house. Apparently, that took too much time away from him focusing on her because she had another meltdown. I had a feeling that this was coming because she was tense around me. There was nothing that I could put my finger on, but let's face facts, you can tell when you are not liked or when you are seen as a threat. Anyway, they had another blow out. He told her that it's over and she told him that she was pregnant. After what she did with his friend, he didn't know whether to believe her or not. Let me also tell you that she has specifically told him that because of her female health issue that is was IMPOSSIBLE, not improbable or highly unlikely, but impossible, for her to get pregnant. My brother, being the stupid trusting fool that he is, had unprotected sex with her, so he knew that there was a chance that she could be pregnant. He made up with her only because he wants to make sure that she gets an abortion. (I do not know what your personal views are about this issue, and with everything going on, I am so emotionally exhausted, I don't have the energy to debate or discuss so don't flame, please.) I will tell you his reasons. First of all, this is someone that he has been debating on staying in a relationship with in the first place, not someone that he would choose to have a committed relationship with, much less bring a child into the world with. Neither of them can financially support a child right now, and if they had a child, they would not be able to go to college to get the education to get a better job to afford a child. Where he works, he spends a lot of time doing maintenance and repairs for a tenement building and he wants more than something like that for a child. Most of all, he has seen first hand that she is not stable, and he does not trust her to raise a child without screwing them up royally. He already knows that any child that he has will genetically have a chance of being depressed, ADHD, OCD, or schizophrenic (his grandmother on his father's side) just from his genetics. He can already feel himself going into another major depressive episode because of how helpless he feels in this situation. He knows that until he gets his crap together, he can't be a father to someone. That is why he doesn't want to have a child now. Let me say that he is okay with adoption, but the girlfriend is not. The girlfriend says that she will have an abortion, but she is having a hard time because she never thought that she could get pregnant and it's getting harder and harder to do it. (Ummm... then do it before it gets even harder.) I don't want to sound callous. However, in the last 3 weeks, I have gotten to know her very well because she has come to live with us. Supposedly, her mother threw her out when she found out that she was pregnant. What I have seen is that she is very clingy to my brother and doesn't want me to have any time alone with him. She wants him all to herself. From everything that she says and does, I feel quite confident that she wants to have the baby because she thinks that it will keep Derek in her life. Since he has started going into this depression and started to withdraw from everyone, except from me and mom, she is freaking out. She has finally spoken to me about having the abortion and told me when she is planning on having it. (She has never spoken to me about the pregnancy except once when they were fighting and she told me that she was pregnant just to piss him off. I already knew, but she didn't know that I knew.) She told me yesterday that she would do whatever it takes to keep in him in this relationship. Ding, Ding, Ding!!! We have a winner! We have one of those desperate women who have to have a man in their lives at any costs. Granted that I am biased but I do think that my brother is good to girlfriends. My mother and I raised him to treat women well. He tried to get out of this relationship early when he saw that it wasn't going to be what he though but because he has a soft heart, he stuck with it. He just keeps kicking himself for not following his gut on this. He has learned two things from this relationship. 1 - always follow your gut. 2 - always use protection, even if she says it's impossible for her to get pregnant.
Well, that is what is exhausting me at home, and work is exhausting as well. I have no place to have any rest. I am coming home from work and falling asleep at 8:00 in the evening. This is coming from a person who has always, even as a small child, been a night owl. It's not uncommon for me to be up until 1:00 am, or it wasn't until the last few weeks. We mailed home the tentative schedules to the students and now everyone wants to make changes. It's utterly ridiculous. I am supposed to be able to leave the office at 3:20 and I am not leaving until 6:00. School starts on September the 8th. There is so much to do before then. I feel exhausted thinking about it. The stress has been causing my neck to hurt again, so I have been doing my stretches that I learned in physical therapy, which has helped. However, I have had HORRIBLE acid reflux and heart burn no matter what I eat and it's all because of stress. I've tried everything, but nothing seems to help, no medicine works for very long. I have a doctor's appointment in the morning about it. I guess that I will have to go on one of the preventative medicines because the reactive ones aren't helping. Keep your fingers crossed!
I think that's about it for an update. Hope everyone is doing well!